How to Speak so that People want to Listen
The human voice, it's the instrument we all play. It's the most powerful sound in the world, probably It's the only one that can start a war or say "I Love You." and yet many people have the experience that when they speak people don't listen to them. and why is that. How can we speak powerfully to make change in the world? What I'd like to suggest, there are a number of habits that we need to move away from. I've assembled for your pleasure here seven deadly sins of speaking. I'm not pretending this is an exahaustive list, but these seven, I think are pretty large habits that we can all fall into.
First gossip- Speaking ill of somebody who's not present. Not a nice habit, and we know perfectly well the person gossiping, five minutes later, will be gossiping about us.
second judging- We know people who are like this in conversation, and its very hard to listen to somebody if you know that you're being judged and found wanting at the same time.
Third Negativity- you can fall into this My mother in the last years of her life become very negative, and it's hard to listen. I remember one day, I said to her, "It's October 1 today," and she said, "I know, isn't it dreadful?" It's hard to listen when somebody's that negative. And another from of negative, complaning. Well this is the national art of the India. It's our national sport. We complain about the weather, sport, about everything, but actually complaning is viral misery. It's not spreading sunshine and lightning in the world.
Excuses- Some people have a blamethrower. They just pass it on to everybody else and don't take the responsbility for their actions, and again hard to listen to somebody who is being like that. Penultimate, the sixth of the seven, embroidery, exaggeration. It demeans our language, actually, sometimes. For example if I see something that really is awesome, what about call it? And then, of course this exaggeration becomes lying, and we don't want to listen to people we know are lying to us.
Dogmatism- The confusion of facts with opinions, When those two things get conflated, you're listening into the wind. You somebody is bombarding you with there opinions as if the were true. It's difficult to listen to that.
so, here they are the seven deadly sense of speaking. These are things I think we need to avoid.
But is there a positve way to think about this? Yes there is. I'd like to suggest that there are four really powerful cornerstones, foundations, that we can stand on if we want our speech to be powerful and to make change in the world. Fortunately, these things spell a word. The word is HAIL and it has a great defination as well. I'm not talking about the stuff that falls from the sky and hits your head. I'm talking about this defination, to greet or acclaim enthusiastically, which is how I think our words will be received if we stand on these four things. so, for what they stands
H-honesty
First gossip- Speaking ill of somebody who's not present. Not a nice habit, and we know perfectly well the person gossiping, five minutes later, will be gossiping about us.
second judging- We know people who are like this in conversation, and its very hard to listen to somebody if you know that you're being judged and found wanting at the same time.
Third Negativity- you can fall into this My mother in the last years of her life become very negative, and it's hard to listen. I remember one day, I said to her, "It's October 1 today," and she said, "I know, isn't it dreadful?" It's hard to listen when somebody's that negative. And another from of negative, complaning. Well this is the national art of the India. It's our national sport. We complain about the weather, sport, about everything, but actually complaning is viral misery. It's not spreading sunshine and lightning in the world.
Excuses- Some people have a blamethrower. They just pass it on to everybody else and don't take the responsbility for their actions, and again hard to listen to somebody who is being like that. Penultimate, the sixth of the seven, embroidery, exaggeration. It demeans our language, actually, sometimes. For example if I see something that really is awesome, what about call it? And then, of course this exaggeration becomes lying, and we don't want to listen to people we know are lying to us.
Dogmatism- The confusion of facts with opinions, When those two things get conflated, you're listening into the wind. You somebody is bombarding you with there opinions as if the were true. It's difficult to listen to that.
so, here they are the seven deadly sense of speaking. These are things I think we need to avoid.
But is there a positve way to think about this? Yes there is. I'd like to suggest that there are four really powerful cornerstones, foundations, that we can stand on if we want our speech to be powerful and to make change in the world. Fortunately, these things spell a word. The word is HAIL and it has a great defination as well. I'm not talking about the stuff that falls from the sky and hits your head. I'm talking about this defination, to greet or acclaim enthusiastically, which is how I think our words will be received if we stand on these four things. so, for what they stands
H-honesty
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